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01 November 2022

Review: Morbius


Review: Morbius, blog post by Aspasia S. Bissas, aspasiasbissas.com. Vampire, vampires, Morbius, Marvel, Spider-Man, Sony, movie reviews

As soon as I heard about Morbius coming out, I was excited to see it. And then the reviews started coming in.

Spoilers Ahead

I should mention that I haven’t read the comic book, so I won’t be comparing the movie to it at all. My SO has read it and he said he was never a fan of the character, who started out as a Spider-Man villain and ended up being more of a neutral character. If movie Morbius is anything like comic book Morbius, I can see why he wasn’t a fan.

Morbius is about Michael Morbius, a man with a chronic (and ultimately deadly) disease that he’s vowed to cure. In pursuit of a cure he creates artificial blood that has somehow saved more lives than penicillin, but still can’t save his own. So he crosses over to the unethical side of research, importing (sigh) vampire bats from Costa Rica and using them to create a serum that when fused with his own DNA will, theoretically, finally be the cure he’s been looking for.

And then it goes horribly wrong. Oh no– what an unforeseen tragedy that no one could have foreseen.

It wasn’t just the story and main character that were underwhelming. Starting with the opening shot of scenery suddenly interrupted by a helicopter entering from behind the camera, I felt like I’d seen this movie a thousand times before. From the cinematography to the acting to the writing– it was all just so pointless. There’s no tension or mystery at all, no artistry; and the whole thing seems rushed, like everyone involved was just trying to get it over with. Twilight was by no means a good movie, but at least it tried.

By the way, I’m no fan of Twilight, but I’d rather watch the entire movie series in one sitting than sit through Morbius again. Bring on the sparkles.

The only bright-ish spot in the entire movie was Michael’s best friend, Lucian AKA Milo (played by Eleventh Doctor, Matt Smith). Milo also has the disease Michael has and is desperate to be cured, taking the serum in secret. Michael then immediately treats Milo as though he’s a monster/pure evil because he doesn’t want to go back to a painful life and early death. At least Milo embraces being a vampire and exudes some menace, unlike mopey Michael. At no point does Michael consider finding a way to live with being a vampire, like finding a source of human blood without the need to kill people (blood bank blood maybe? Idk). He immediately concludes that his serum is a curse with intolerable side effects (i.e., becoming a vampire) and it’s best to just give up rather than try to find a way to make it work. No wonder Milo isn’t on board.

The movie ends with a predictable twist and the worst post-credit scenes I’ve seen. I’m honestly not sure why Morbius was made; it doesn’t add anything to vampire lore, and I can’t see it adding anything worthwhile to the Spider-verse (like Spider-Man, Morbius is a Marvel character licensed by Sony, so technically not part of the MCU). Milo isn’t even around anymore to possibly make things more interesting in future movies.

If you’re a stickler for watching everything Marvel related, then go ahead and watch Morbius. If you want to see a decent vampire flick, then go watch Lost Boys, or What We Do in the Shadows, or yes, even Twilight (at least you can laugh at it). The critics were right, Morbius sucks, and not in a good way.

What did you think of Morbius? Share in the comments…

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Cheers,

Aspasía S. Bissas

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