3 Vampires with a Chance at Love

 

True love is a forever thing– especially for vampires. Or it can be, anyway. These TV couples’ stories left us wondering, but I’d like to believe they got their happily ever after. Here are three vampires who were (probably) lucky in love…

Spoilers Ahead

Mick St. John and Beth Turner, Moonlight

Mick and Beth, Moonlight

Mick (vampire) and Beth (human) have a complicated relationship. Beth has a boyfriend and Mick saved Beth’s life as a child and has been keeping tabs on her ever since. It’s a tale as old as time. But as the show goes on, their feelings for each other grow and turn into something else (and just as complicated). There’s a lot of back and forth about whether a vampire-human relationship could even work, and when the series was cancelled it ended ambiguously on a kiss between Mick and Beth. These two have a real connection, even if their fears cloud their feelings at times, so I think they have a solid chance to make it work. The show hinted at the potential for a vampire cure, so Mick could eventually become human. He could also turn Beth. Love finds (fangs?) a way.

Is this love?: 8/10

Jessica and Hoyt, True Blood

Jessica and Hoyt, True Blood

Although it might not seem like it, Jessica (vampire) and Hoyt (human) have a lot in common. Both had traumatic childhoods with domineering, manipulative parents. Both have quieter, somewhat innocent/naive personalities with rebellious sides. Both also have to cope with situations they have no control over, and neither really knows where they fit into the world. When they meet each other, it’s love at first sight. They did try to make it work for a while, but there were too many things working against them, including Hoyt’s mother and Jessica’s vampire nature. Their breakup was both inevitable and necessary, giving them a chance to figure out who they were. They eventually reunite, and even though we don’t get to see how their life together plays out, chances are they make it work (at least, they’d better make it work after all the screen time the producers devoted to their wedding in the series finale).

Is this love?: 9/10

Alex and Hal, Being Human

Hal and Alex, Being Human

Okay, this one might be cheating since both characters are human by the end of the series, but sparks started flying while Hal was a vampire, so I’m counting it. Although both are attracted to each other, their budding relationship is cut short when another vampire takes it upon himself to kill Alex (and then gives her blood to an unsuspecting Hal to drink). Hal is horrified at what’s happened, and when he finds out Alex is still around in ghost form, he promises to get revenge for her murder. With nowhere else to go and few people to talk to (thanks to being invisible to humans) Alex ends up moving in with Hal. Their opposing personalities make them something of an odd couple: Hal is precise, compulsive, and terrified of losing control; while Alex is carefree, no-nonsense, and takes things as they come. But the real hindrance to a relationship is that one of them is incorporeal (and it doesn’t help that the other one is constantly fighting his blood lust). The series (officially) concludes with an interesting twist that has all supernatural beings become human again, finally giving Hal and Alex a real chance at a life together.

Is this love?: 8/10

What other vampires have a shot at love? Share your thoughts in the comments…

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Cheers,

Aspasía S. Bissas

Originally posted on my official site: AspasiaSBissas.com

True Blood S4 E9 "Let's Get Out of Here"

Spoilers Ahead

I love this episode of True Blood, if for no other reason than Sookie's dream. What was so great about her dream, you ask? We'll get to that later. In the meantime...

"Let's Get Out of Here" begins with Alcide carrying Sookie's unconscious body back to her place and away from Antonia and her gang of witches (refresh your memory here). Suddenly a blur speeds by, taking her with it. The blur turns out to be Bill and by the time Alcide catches up, Bill is already trying to feed Sookie his blood. The problem is she's not taking it and she barely has a pulse. Come on, Sookie--if you can survive vampires, fairies, fanatical humans, maenads, and werewolves a little bullet shouldn't be a problem. But it's nice to see that Bill still really cares about her.

Meanwhile the witches responsible for all the trouble are back at the magic shop in a state of chaos. Most of them are upset with Antonia for not trying to make peace with Bill and they want out. Only Roy--clearly a guy with no life and less personality--still thinks the whole thing is awesome. As her minions rebel, Antonia's crazy starts coming out. She threatens anyone who tries to leave and informs them they'll be paying a visit to the next night's pro-vampire Festival of Tolerance, bringing Eric (who is still under her control) along to show what vampires are capable of. I'm guessing it won't be a showcase of their healing abilities and sexual prowess.

Back at Sookie's place all the drama seemed to be for naught as she wakes up completely fine. I guess Bill's blood finally took. I find it a little weird that all she cares about is finding Eric--she doesn't ask if anyone else is okay or care that she almost died (again). At least she thanks Bill for the blood. Her priorities drive Alcide to leave in disgust (can't really blame him).

When Alcide gets home Debbie pretends to be asleep. Aside from Debbie's eyes wolfing out as she smells Sookie on Alcide the most significant portion of this scene is Alcide's naked butt. Holy hell, how much does that man work out? Totally gratuitous nudity but I don't think anyone's complaining.

Anyway, the next time we see Debbie she's buying and downing a vial of V. She then heads over to Sookie's house, brandishing a bouquet of flowers. Sookie warily lets her in and there's a beautiful shot of the flowers in a vase bathed in light while in the foreground the women sit at the table talking in shadow. I wish I could get a copy of that and have it framed. Debbie asks Sookie if she can help her and she's apparently sincere. When Sookie listens in on Debbie's thoughts she doesn't hear any deception so she accepts Debbie's offer.

Debbie's next stop is the magic shop, where she offers the allegiance of the Shreveport wolf pack to Antonia's cause. While this is happening, Sookie is sneaking in not-so-stealthily through the back. All the other witches are sleeping on the floor in the back room. Although why they're sleeping when it doesn't seem to be particularly late is beyond me. Sookie then finds Eric in a storeroom. He realizes he's under a spell although he can't do anything about it and he tells Sookie his orders are to kill the King (aka Bill) at the Festival of Tolerance. So Antonia's big plan is to have one vampire kill another vampire in order to prove that vampires are vicious and humans should hate and fear them? Right. While Sookie is still figuring out what to do, Tara is suddenly there pointing a gun at her.

Instead of distracting Antonia from what's happening behind her, Debbie announces she's brought Sookie to her and points out that Tara's got her cornered. Antonia shouts to Tara not to shoot Sookie--she could be useful. Tara berates Sookie but tips her off to listen to her thoughts, where she tells Sookie they're being held hostage and that Bill is at the Dorchester Hotel. Then she silently orders Sookie to charge her, which she does and escapes while Tara lets the gun go off as though she was defending herself. Antonia turns back to Debbie, only to find she's gone. Angry, Antonia announces that she, Roy, and Eric are leaving. Then she magically locks all the witches inside the shop. I love this next part. When Tara grabs a doorknob to try to leave she badly burns her hand. So what happens next? Another witch runs to another door and grabs the knob, badly burning her hand. These people clearly aren't the brightest bunch. We leave them in a panic.

The Festival of Tolerance seems to mostly involve humans telling heartwarming stories about vampires to other humans. Wow--festive. Things start getting interesting, however, when Eric shows up. He lures the vampire guards into the hotel's kitchen, where Antonia is waiting to put the whammy on them. Then, just as Bill is about to give a speech, the enchanted vampires very publicly rip the hearts out of Bill's human guards. Sookie arrives at this point and, just as Eric jumps off the balcony toward Bill, she screams at him to run.

In other happenings, Sam impresses Luna by taking her and Emma on an impromptu camping trip as a way of getting away from Marcus without running away. His stock rises even more when he shifts into a bunny because Emma desperately wants to pet one and the wild bunnies aren't cooperating. Guess that's why Luna decides to share a tent with Sam. And the nice guy gets the girl.

Tommy, meanwhile is leaving a goodbye note for Sam at the bar when Marcus comes in with an attitude looking for Sam. Tommy isn't averse to giving attitude right back and when Marcus leaves his card and a message that Sam had better meet him tonight or else, it's pretty obvious that Tommy is going to be the one taking him up on his invitation. And he does, in the guise of Sam. Anyone who actually knows Sam would know this wasn't him, but, of course, no one at the garage does. Tommy goads Marcus, along with most of the other weres, into attacking him. Only Alcide holds back and tries to stop what's happening. Tommy ends up so badly beaten that he reverts to his own form, at which point Marcus finally seems to care that he and his buddies were ganging up on one smallish guy (but it was the wrong guy). Alcide grabs Tommy and carries him out of the place.

Hoyt is occupied with hating Jessica. He packs up her stuff and repeatedly calls her a monster. I'm not sure what his problem is or why he's so bitter about her biting him--I seem to recall he wanted her to bite him. I'm also pretty sure he was fully aware of what he was getting into when he moved in with her. Did he envision some 1950s idyll, with the big, strong man coming home from a hard day's work while his apron-clad vampire wife waits in their spotless house with a hot dinner and a cold beer? If so he should've married that girl his momma tried to set him up with. Perhaps that's just what he's pondering when a possessed Lafayette shows up with Arlene and Terry's baby and chases Hoyt out of the house (pantsless) at gunpoint. Bon Temps is such a fun place to live.

When Hoyt calls Jason he's already at the Bellefleurs', dealing with a hysterical Arlene who's convinced that Rene stole the baby, and a V-addicted Andy who's steadily growing out of control. He manages to drag Andy to Hoyt's place where they soon discover that Lafayette is now "Mavis" and she isn't afraid to shoot at anyone who gets too close. The situation gets even more chaotic when Terry and Arlene show up against Jason's orders. Terry's ready to stage a military incursion to get his baby back but Jason manages to hold him off and shows that he's continuing to get smarter when he sends for Jesus.

When Jesus arrives he immediately realizes what's going on. He talks to Mavis and helps her understand that she's dead and the baby she's holding isn't hers. Then he promises to use magic to try to help her hold her baby one last time. They leave the house and Mavis returns Mikey to Arlene, apologizing as she does. They forgive her (technically they forgive Lafayette), which is more than I think I'd do. Then Mavis and Jesus head back to a tree on the property where she thinks her baby is buried. It doesn't take long for the woman's skeleton to be unearthed along with the baby's. When Jesus hands the baby skeleton to Mavis, her spirit leaves Lafayette and suddenly she's standing in front of everyone holding one of the cutest babies I've ever seen. She thanks Lafayette for helping her and then they're gone. Too bad--I'm going to miss that wacky Creole ghost. Meanwhile everyone else believes they've just witnessed a miracle.

Once things are back to normal, Hoyt asks Jason to take Jessica's things back to her. Jason's reluctant but Hoyt basically guilts him into it. Can we have the old Hoyt back please? He was a sweetheart. Current Hoyt just seems to be a selfish jerk. Seriously--when did Jason become the sweet one? As he drops the box of her things off to Jessica, he tells her he's there for her if she ever needs to talk. But when she asks him if he wants to come in he says it's not such a good idea. Of course, he doesn't really make a move to leave, either. The next thing we know they're having sex in the back of his truck. I have a bad feeling about this.

And now for that lovely dream I mentioned. In it Eric shows up at Sookie's place during the day. As she's marvelling at that, Bill is suddenly there. Of course as rival alpha men are wont to do they start fighting. Sookie then steps in, stops them, and takes control of the dream. Sookie claims that the fact she's there with both of them means something. Then she announces that she loves them both and doesn't want to belong to either of them--instead they should both belong to her. Hell, yes! She also points out the double standard in that a man who has a threesome with two women he barely knows is applauded but a woman who wants to be in a relationship with two men she loves is basically called a whore. Yup. I think I finally like Sookie (and Anna Paquin too, who I believe adheres to this philosophy in real life). I can never understand all the drama of love triangles (the solution seems so simple), or the Victorian-era morality modern society still clings to (which, by the way, even Victorians didn't adhere to behind closed doors). I really hope her dream spills over into reality and that, as in the dream, both vampires are willing to be part of such a relationship. I also have to mention that the two of them biting her simultaneously in the dream is just totally hot. Lucky, lucky girl.

The season is starting to wind down and for now there's no end in sight to Antonia's malevolent hold over the vampires. I wonder if Eric will manage to kill anyone (Nan maybe, hopefully not Bill). I have no idea how or if Eric will get his memory back or whether Pam will stop rotting (by the way, what happened to her at the cemetery? She just disappeared...) And will Sookie get her dream relationship? I truly hope so but all still remains to be seen.

Fang Files

Appearance: Pale human with red-rimmed eyes and snakelike fangs that descend or retract at will (or when the vampire is excited). They cry blood.

Strengths: Super speed and strength. Their blood heals humans.

Weaknesses: Magic. Silver, sunlight.

Mythology: Vampire society is highly hierarchical with Kings and Queens presiding over Sheriffs, Nan Flanagan and the American Vampire League presiding over Kings and Queens, and the mysterious Authority ruling over all. Vampire blood (V) is a highly addictive and illegal drug for humans (although why Sookie can drink mass quantities of it and not get sick or addicted remains a mystery).

Sound Bites

Bill: [to Alcide] Werewolf, I'm going to need you to shut the fuck up.

Nan Flanagan: There have been times, I'll admit, when it's occurred to me that maybe I should put my career on hold and become a maker. But these last several hours here with you have erased those doubts forever.
Jessica: You're nothing like you are on TV.
Nan Flanagan: Oh, thanks.

Sookie: [to Bill and Eric] I'm saying I love you, both of you. And I'm asking you to love me back. Together.

True Blood, Season 4 Episode 9 "Let's Get Out of Here." Written by Brian Buckner. Directed by Romeo Tirone. From HBO.

True Blood S4 E8 "Spellbound"

Spoilers Ahead

The post-holidays are upon us and with that comes a return to real life. Well, we knew it had to happen sooner or later. But what better way to welcome the new year than with hot vampires? You could do a lot worse.

Let's get the non-vampire events out of the way...

While Alcide is still unsure that the Shreveport werewolf pack is the one for him, Debbie is more than ready to settle down. Even Marcus is impressed with him when he steps in to stop a fight between two of the younger members. Speaking of Marcus, he's instructed the weres to keep out of the vampire-witch conflict, mainly because he's sure the vampires will win and--much as they all hate to admit it--weres are no match for vamps. This prompts Debbie to make Alcide promise to stay away from Sookie because Sookie comes with vampires.

Elsewhere, Sam goes to see Luna and, with the help of her young daughter, manages to finagle an invite for dinner. They're both still upset about what Tommy did but she's at least starting to acknowledge that it wasn't Sam's fault. As they're having dinner suddenly Marcus barges in. Remember when Luna said her ex was a psycho werewolf? Yeah. He's less than impressed that "his" woman is hanging out with a shifter (but aren't Luna and Emma shifters?) and that his daughter really likes said shifter. When Luna threatens to call his parole officer if he causes trouble he decides he's going to make Sam pay. Sigh. Why can't people just get along?

Meanwhile Tommy, having been banished by Sam, breaks into Maxine's and steals some of her personal items. Then he shifts into Maxine and meets with the representative of the gas company that wants to buy the leasing rights to Maxine's land. Tommy has to be the world's worst bargainer but he does get a small cheque from the guy. At least enough to get him out of Bon Temps. Mind you, he makes it as far as the woods before he collapses, sick from the shift.

You'd think with everything else going on there wouldn't be time for anything more. And yet... Terry and Arlene have to bring baby Mikey in with them to work. As they argue about keeping an eye on him the ghost lady shows up and starts singing to Mikey. Suddenly Lafayette shows up and sees her. And she sees him as well. Later as Lafayette sleeps at home the ghost lady shows up. We're treated to a flashback/dream in which we see her before she was a ghost. Once upon a time she was a happy new mother bringing home a doll (the creepy one that now belongs to Mikey) to her baby son. Unfortunately the baby's father--a married white man--has taken it upon himself to make it so no one will ever know about the child or his affair with a "negresse" (her word, but I think there's something sad and elegant about it). As she begs to see her baby one last time Lafayette wakes and the ghost possesses him. Now that he's been taken over by the ghost lady, Lafayette ambles over to the Bellefleur place and grabs Mikey while everyone else is asleep. It's hard not to feel sorry for the ghost woman.

As if all that wasn't enough, there's still plenty more happening with the vampires and witches. If you'll recall the last episode, Jessica--under Antonia's spell--had just thrown open Bill's front doors to greet the sun. Jason had been running to save her but got held up by one of Bill's guards (I guess there's such a thing as too much security). Just as Jessica starts turning into a crispy critter Jason tackles her. He manages to shut the doors with his foot but then he has to contend with a furious, out-of-control vampire.

Jessica's about to sink her fangs into Jason's neck when the witches end the spell. She returns to her senses and then kisses Jason in gratitude for saving her. She then immediately apologizes but they both end up kissing each other. Disturbingly they keep kissing as Bill calls out for her despondently, thinking she's dead.

Eventually they manage to break apart and Jason carries her downstairs where Bill is relieved to see her still alive. Unfortunately there's a chance the witches will redo the spell so Jason has to silver Jessica all over again, even more heavily than before (ouch) so that they can be safe until nightfall. Bill and Jason also make a deal that Jason won't report the dead guard in the cell (Jessica killed him in order to escape but she doesn't remember) if Bill will overlook the guard outside whom Jason shot in the shoulder in order to get to Jessica.

Once it is safe and Jessica has healed and gone home, Hoyt is thrilled to see her. She's not quite as happy. She tells him she wants to move out and he immediately starts crying, whining and even begging her to stay. She's getting increasingly annoyed with him and when he claims he'll die if she leaves she obliges and kills him. Yeah, you probably shouldn't say things like that to vampires. Outside Jason is waiting for her in his truck. He thinks she looks hot spattered with blood and want to have sex. Right now. He also wants her to bite him while they're having sex. Jessica once again is happy to oblige.

And then she wakes up.

But maybe reality is worse than her dream. When Jess really does get home Hoyt doesn't even acknowledge her. She tells him that she loves him but she wants to break up. There's definitely no crying or whining from him. Instead he gets angry, shouts at her and says all kinds of really hurtful things (she doesn't deserve him, he wants someone who can give him daylight and kids...) Finally he tells her to get the fuck out and revokes her invitation. Clearly Jessica is not the monster in this relationship. And it sucks because they were such a good couple in the beginning. I think I need to go listen to some country music.

Jason, meanwhile, has gone back to work, meeting Andy at the scene where Beulah Carter, secret vampire, burned in the sun. In the throes of his V addiction Andy is actually tempted to lick up the remains. In other words he's not much different from any other addict. Bill shows up too, making a statement on camera (using his glamouring skills) about how Beulah's death was a suicide, a not uncommon experience among vampires with all the anti-vampire sentiment running rampant these days.

After work Jason gets paid a visit by Jessica. She tells him she broke up with Hoyt. Again, things don't exactly go as smoothly as in her dream. He gets upset because Hoyt is his bestie and then he revokes her invitation. Poor Jessica. Jason then tries to distract himself with pushups, forgetting that Jessica shares a blood bond with him and can feel what he feels. No use pretending you're not into her, my friend.

Eric made it through the witches' assault more or less okay, although his silver-inflicted injuries are extensive enough that he needs real blood to heal (True Blood just won't cut it this time). Of course Sookie offers her own neck (there are other arteries and veins, you know). He ends up offering her his own blood, as well, so that they can be "one." As one they both enjoy some mutual ultra-vivid hallucinations, ending up in a bed in the snowy woods. Not unappealing.

Later as they lie in bed, Eric suggests they run away together. He really doesn't want his memories back. If it were me I think I'd take that offer but Sookie doesn't want to leave her home or to leave Bill to die (I guess she's got a point there). She also tells Eric that he's a warrior and he would never forgive himself for running from a fight. Sigh--stupid practicality intrudes again.

But I think Bill will need all the help he can get. As Antonia watches the news she's livid that all their effort only got one vampire killed. Tara has the sudden realization that they're not actually protecting themselves--they're indiscriminately killing vampires. Antonia is perfectly okay with that--her intention is to wipe out all vampires everywhere. Bill's at least trying to work something out. He calls Antonia (I'm not sure how he knows where to find her) and apologizes on behalf of all vampires for what was done to her. He believes there can be peace between them if they're both willing. She's not exactly convinced but finally Antonia agrees to meet him--alone and unarmed--at midnight in the cemetery at Bon Temps.

As Bill prepares at home for the meeting with Antonia, Sookie and Eric arrive to join the fight. He reluctantly agrees to let Sookie take part before heading to the cemetery. When Antonia arrives she's already hostile and neither of them is surprised that they brought back up (although Sookie is shocked to see Tara on Antonia's side). Bill promises that his vampires will leave the witches alone (under penalty of death) if Antonia will lift the spells on Eric and Pam. Antonia points out that the vampires he wants her to help are the ones who've already harmed the witches. Will he kill them once she lifts the spells? As Bill is giving his word that the vampires will leave the witches alone Sookie hears Antonia silently casting a spell. She warns Bill and suddenly more vampires arrive.

I don't know what sets him off but out of nowhere Eric decides to rip the heart out of one of the witches. Sookie is shocked (like she didn't know what he was capable of). Antonia casts a thick fog and everything descends into chaos. Some are killing whoever they find. Sookie is running around useless. Bill releases every witch unharmed as he searches for Antonia. Tara kills a vampire and looks sickened by what she's done. But then Pam finds her and is ready to end her--until Bill shows up and orders Pam to never harm Tara or he'll personally execute her. Pam takes off and Tara is just dumbfounded.

As Eric feasts on a dead witch and Bill is confronting more of them, Sookie gets shot. Both men sense it and in that moment of vulnerability Bill gets silvered and Eric is put under Antonia's spell much as Luis was. Luckily for Sookie Alcide broke his promise to Debbie and comes to her rescue when he hears her scream. Unluckily for possibly both of them, Debbie sees Alcide do it. Just as things are looking as though they can't possibly get any worse the camera pans slowly out until everything is obscured by the fog.

I'm not worried for Sookie (and not just because she's the main character) but I am concerned about what's going to happen to all the vampires. Who would have thought a small coven of witches could turn out to be so much trouble? And now that Debbie's aware of Alcide's betrayal, who knows what she's capable of? Also, are they completely done with the fairies on the show? Because if so that was pretty damn anticlimactic.

Fang Files

Appearance: Pale humans with red-rimmed eyes and long, snakelike fangs that extend or retract at will (and also when the vampire is excited). They cry blood. A dead vampire is a mass of stringy, bloody bits

Strengths: Super strength and speed. Fast healing (faster with real blood). Ability to glamour (hypnotize) humans.

Weaknesses: Witchcraft, silver, the sun. When vampires haven't properly rested at night they get the "bleeds" (bleeding from their eyes and nose).

Mythology: Once a human has consumed a vampire's blood, there will always be a bond between the two. On the other hand, vampire blood is also a powerful and illegal drug that many humans become addicted to. A vampire needs an invitation to enter a home (and they can't legally own property); their invitation can also be revoked, forcing them to leave immediately.

Sound Bites

Marcus: [re: vampires] Those dead fuckers are hardcore. They will kill you and not blink an eye.

Sookie: I'm trusting you, Eric.
Eric: I won't betray you. Ever.
Sookie: I may remind you of that someday.

Hoyt: [to Jessica] Maybe my mama was right all along--maybe God really does hate fangs. And you know what? So do I.

Eric: I just want to be with you and only you. Forever.
Sookie: There's no such thing as forever.

True Blood, Season 4 Episode 8 "Spellbound." Written by Alan Ball. Directed by Daniel Minahan. From HBO.

True Blood S4 E7 "Cold Grey Light of Dawn"

Spoilers Ahead

It's weird: necromancer Antonia should be a more sympathetic character. After all, she was imprisoned, tortured, raped and finally burned at the stake by vampires. Her desire for vengeance is justified. And let's face it--her powers are pretty damn awesome. So why is she not only unlikable but also being portrayed as the bad guy? I guess her insistence on killing all vampires everywhere has something to do with it (nobody likes a fanatic). But even the "good" vampires on True Blood have done some pretty horrible things. This is all getting too confusing. Do I root for the vampires or for the wronged witch? Can't we all just get along?

Sigh.

When we last saw Antonia she had made herself comfortable inside Marnie's body (the possession thing is also a little too creepy). She had then enslaved vampire Sheriff Luis. "Cold Grey Light of Dawn" starts off with Antonia using Luis to execute the "treasonous" Katie (one of Bill's security guards who infiltrated Marnie's coven). Too bad--I kind of liked Katie. Luis is then given orders to give his King a message.

When Luis goes to see Bill he informs him that Antonia is back. Then he shoots Bill before trying to stake him. Of course Bill gets the upper hand. When he demands to know what Antonia wants, Luis says one word--"Resurrection"--before staking himself.

From there we go to Pam--still decomposing alive--as she attacks Tara and her girlfriend. Just as she's about to choke the life out of Tara she notices a group of locals watching and taking photos. Reluctantly Pam puts Tara down but promises to come back and shred her like confetti. Tara's shaken, so much so that she sends her girlfriend away claiming she doesn't want her to end up dead as well.

Depressed, alone, and granted a temporary reprieve Tara spends the night getting drunk and wandering along the side of the road. Out of nowhere Antonia shows up and gives a rousing speech about how alike she and Tara are, how they've both been used by vampires and how together they can avenge their torment and exact retribution. Of course Tara agrees to help (she has to be the most easily swayed/manipulated character on this show) and they set about recruiting more people to their cause.

Jason shows up doing some truly impressive pushups in an effort to get his mind off Jessica. Too bad his plan doesn't work out. Especially when Hoyt shows up and, after a perfunctory show of concern for Jason ("You were raped" "It's okay I'm over it" WTF?) he starts going on about how Jessica is slipping away from him and it'll kill him if he loses her.

Speaking of Jessica, she's busy being filled in by Bill on the Antonia situation. Their relationship has evolved into a rather sweet father-daughter bond (reminds me of Buffy and Giles). I want to see more of the two of them. Anyway, Bill's convinced that Antonia will reprise her last stand and lure the vampires out into the daylight so he comes up with a plan to send away as many of the Louisiana vamps as he can and to have everyone else bound with silver during the day. It's not going to be fun but it'll keep them alive.

While all this has been going on Sookie and Eric continue to have sex--in the glade, at home, the entire way from the glade to home. Don't these two get tired? They finally take a break and the pillow talk turns to whether Sookie will still want Eric if he gets his memories back. Way to ruin the moment. She's not sure that she will still want him but she wants to. I guess that's something.

No sooner do they get some clothes on than Bill shows up. They thank him for allowing their happy reunion (he looks completely miserable) and then he tells them about what's been going on. He offers Eric a secure cell at his place but Eric isn't leaving Sookie's. Bill hands them a rather large pile of silver chains and heads back home to start getting ready. He makes sure his mansion is light proof and then he silvers Jessica and himself. The silvering process looks pretty horrific, worse than we've seen it before. Bill ends up taking pity on Jess and holds off on silvering her neck.

Since the pain from the silver is so intense the vampires can't sleep and that seems to put them in a confessing mood. Jessica tells Bill that she's not sure she can love Hoyt anymore. Meanwhile Eric tells Sookie that he doesn't want his memories back--he's perfectly happy as he is with her.

Now that she's taking a break from trying to kill Tara, Pam has decided to see the doctor about a cure of some sort. Unfortunately the doctor can only clear the surface rot and keep Pam pretty--she'll still be internally decomposing. Even that temporary fix involves ripping off the external layers of skin (shudder) and taking six injections four times a day. You've got to wonder if it's really worth it. Lucky Ginger gets the task of injecting Pam, as well as covering her with silver chain mail and keeping watch over her coffin. It's so glamorous hanging out with the vampires of True Blood!

After an inspirational talk Antonia gets down to business with her fellow witches and vampire haters. As they cast the spell the vampires all start going crazy, begging to be set free to see the sun. It turns out one of Maxine's neighbours is a vamp but didn't get the memo as she bursts into flame on the front lawn.

In other happenings, after vomiting and passing out Tommy is feeling better (the doctor blames food poisoning). Once he's sure Tommy's all right Sam gives Luna a call and is shocked when she's less than friendly. He ends up going to see her in person and when she realizes he doesn't remember sleeping with her it ends up dawning on both of them that Tommy is a skinwalker. They're both sickened at the thought. Later Tommy wakes up to find Sam staring at him. Sam is enraged, not only at what Tommy did but at what he might do (like kill Sam and take his place). In his anger he starts choking Tommy but eventually backs off. Then he tells Tommy he has 2 minutes to leave forever and, just in case Tommy isn't devastated enough, Sam tells him he wishes he could forget everything about him.

Meanwhile Jesus and Lafayette decide that even the relative safety from vampires isn't enough to keep them at granddad"s (the fact that he decided to prove that Lafayette is a medium by nearly killing Jesus might have had something to do with that). But why they went back to Bon Temps isn't too clear. Lafayette goes back to work at Merlotte's like nothing's happened, which is also strange. But I guess it gives an opportunity for him to see the lady ghost hanging around Arlene's baby.

As for Debbie and Alcide, after being inducted into the Shreveport wolf pack Debbie's jealousy toward Sookie starts becoming more apparent. Alcide assures her she's the only girl for him and although she seems mollified I have a feeling the jealousy issue will be rearing its ugly head again before long.

The episode ends with Jason stopping by to see Sookie. Hearing Eric's screams she quickly explains to him what's happening. As she returns to Eric Jason starts running for Bill's. Jessica has managed to break her chains and escape from the cell. For a second it looks like Bill will stop her: he commands her as his maker to...release him. She ignores him, however, and crawls upstairs. As Jason runs toward the house he gets intercepted by one of Bill's guards. As he grapples with the guard Jess finally reaches the doors and throws them open as sun streams in.

I will not be happy if Jessica dies. She's definitely one of my favourite characters. I hope the vampires have a good plan for putting Antonia out of commission; otherwise, the silvering is going to get old fast. And despite my questions at the beginning of this post, when it comes right down to it, I always root for the vampires.

Fang Files

Appearance: Pale humans with red-rimmed eyes and long, snakelike fangs that extend or retract at will (and also when the vampire is excited). A dead vampire is a mass of stringy, bloody bits.

Strengths: Super strength. Ability to glamour (hypnotize) humans. Mad skillz in the bedroom.

Weaknesses: Witchcraft/necromancy. Stakes, silver, sunlight. Lack of sleep causes "the bleeds."

Mythology: Vampire society is highly hierarchical with Kings and Queens ruling over Sheriffs and lesser vampires, and all ruled by the mysterious Authority. Vampire blood (V) is an addictive and illegal drug. If a maker orders his child to do something the child can resist but with great difficulty.

Sound Bites

Redneck 1: What the hell's the matter with her face?
Redneck 2: Show us your face!
Redneck 1: Are you sure she ain't a zombie?
Redneck 2: Oh crap, now there's zombies?
Pam: I. AM NOT. A ZOMBIE!
Redneck: That's exactly what a zombie would say!

Bill: Since when has any fanatic been held back by the improbability of their righteous mission?

Jessica: When we survive the day I am going to eat that fucking witch, starting with her face.

Antonia: Vampires are not immortal. They are only harder to kill.

True Blood, Season 4 Episode 7 "Cold Grey Light of Dawn." Written by Alexander Woo. Directed by Michael Ruscio. From HBO.

True Blood S4 E6 "I Wish I Was the Moon"

Spoilers Ahead

I'm starting to get the feeling I'm the only one enjoying True Blood's fourth season. Everywhere I turn I see complaints and criticisms: (former?) fans especially seem to be hating the Eric memory-loss storyline, his niceness, his helplessness, his relationship with Sookie--even his hair. I find this strange for a couple of reasons. Not only because I happen to be really enjoying this season, especially Eric, but also because I don't get how sociopathic, perpetually bored Eric (a la Seasons 1 and 2) could be deemed superior to and/or more attractive than emotionally stable and caring (yet still deadly when necessary) Eric. I think this says something about where popular culture is heading and it's not good. In any case, if you're not a fan of the new Eric you're going to hate this episode. Everyone else (if you're out there), read on.

"I Wish I Was the Moon" starts with Eric and Sookie moments after where they last left off (catch up here). Still kissing they enter her house, start ditching clothes, and end up on the couch. That's when Bill bursts in. The vampires start fighting and Eric, being much older, soon gets the upper hand. Just as Eric's about to run Bill through with a fireplace poker Sookie manages to stop him. Frustrated he asks who Bill is to her and she hesitates before finally replying that he's Eric's king. Eric immediately kneels and asks his "liege" for forgiveness. Bill, as you can expect, looks fairly well stunned.

He gets over it quickly, though, and takes Eric into custody. He even goes so far as to restrain Eric (who isn't putting up any fight) in silver. And when Sookie starts arguing on Eric's behalf Bill finally orders his guards to arrest her for trespassing if she steps foot on his property again. What's happened to Bill? His official argument is that Eric is under the control of a necromancer and could be a danger to them all. But it's obvious Bill is acting strictly out of jealousy. Bit of a double standard there, though, since (as Sookie points out) Bill's been running around sticking his fangs--and whatever else--into half the female population of Bon Temps. But he solidifies his douchery by calling Nan Flanagan and requesting a warrant to impose the true death on Eric. Come on, Bill--you used to be cool.

Meanwhile Eric gets put into a cell with Pam while she continues to rot from within, unsure how much time she has left. Pam tries to revive the old Eric by telling him he hates Bill and that he's a Viking vampire god who would rip someone's liver out with one fang. Surprisingly this doesn't convince Eric that he wants his old life back. He tells her he's not interested in remembering who he was since he is no longer that vampire. Sorry, Pam.

In the next cell Marnie desperately cuts herself and begs Antonia-the-spirit to come and use Marnie to avenge herself. We see more flashbacks of Antonia's life. In the first she's being bitten and raped by a vampire as his maker (a priest) urges him to be even more vicious because "fear sweetens the blood." In the next flashback we see Antonia burning at the stake as she chants a spell. Back in their cell her fellow witches chant along with her. Suddenly vampires are getting up and going out into the sun where they're burned alive along with Antonia, including the priest from the previous flashback. It's hard not to be upset at this scene knowing countless people were actually tortured and burned at the stake in past centuries. The vampires are actually the least disturbing part of these flashbacks because what humans beings did (and do) to each other is far worse. But I digress. As Marnie returns to the present Antonia's spirit is in the cell with her. A moment later she enters Marnie's body and takes possession of it.

The plot thickens with Terry and Arlene. They wake up to a raging fire and scramble to get the kids out. Only the baby is missing. Before Terry can run back inside to look for him the place explodes. As Arlene is about to lose it, Lisa and Coby point out that the baby was sitting outside when they got there, just hanging out with the creepy doll. Relieved, Arlene cradles him we see that he's smiling and laughing at something behind her. It turns out not to be a demon or even Rene but the ghost of a woman who smiles and waves at the baby. Okay, this is going in an entirely new direction. I like it a lot better than the possessed baby/serial killer baby plot that seemed to have been developing.

While Sam has to deal with the destruction of his rental properties (Holly's place was also ruined) he asks Tommy to open Merlotte's for him. Tommy agrees but he's deep in a spiral of depression and self-loathing after accidentally killing his mom. As he stares at himself in the mirror his self-hatred boils over and he starts hitting himself in the head. Before you can say "WTF?" Tommy has turned into Sam. Remember that thing about shifters who kill a family member can shift into other people? Suddenly Tommy's day is looking up. His mood improves even more when Sookie shows up to beg "Sam" for the day off and he gets to fire her. If Sookie believes Tommy is Sam then he can fool anyone. Unfortunately he next fools Maxine, who has nothing good to say about Tommy. She actually says she can understand why Sam shot Tommy. He seems pretty upset to hear it. It's hard not to feel sorry for Tommy sometimes.

Of course the sympathy we might have felt for him evaporates later when Luna arrives ready to hook up with Sam, not realizing it's not really Sam, and Tommy decides he can't waste the opportunity. Afterward she's ready to go shift together but Tommy is starting to look sick. Instead of telling her so he just gets mean, snapping at her to get out and throwing her clothes at her. She leaves in a fury (who can blame her?) and Tommy reverts to his own form and promptly starts throwing up. When Sam finally gets back he finds Tommy unconscious next to a pile of what looks like his internal organs. That's a lot of vomit.

After her encounter with "Sam" and unsure where else to turn for help with Eric, Sookie ends up going to Jason's. She can hear that he's in the house but he first hides from her and then shouts at her to go away. After Sookie ignores him and walks in on him half-naked and handcuffed to his bed he finally has to tell her about the possibility he might become a werepanther that night. Sookie points out that if he does transform, the handcuffs will just fall off. His reaction is what convinces her he's serious. Apparently forgetting about Eric she insists on staying with Jason. As they wait for him to turn he's upset to find out that when Sookie said she would take care of him if he turned she didn't mean she would kill him. She tries to make him feel better with a pep talk before heading inside to get them drinks. When she returns--surprise--Jason is gone.

He's off stumbling around the woods like the dumbass he is, waiting to turn and jumping at every noise. Lucky for him Jessica senses his fear and comes running. As he starts having a panic attack she calms him down and promises to stay with him while he turns.

Speaking of weres, Alcide returns home to find Marcus Bozeman having a cozy chat with Debbie. Marcus is in a much friendlier mood than he was the last time Alcide saw him and it turns out Debbie has already joined the Shreveport pack behind Alcide's back. He's infuriated with Debbie but she convinces him that her recovery (from her V addiction) depends on her getting out of the house and meeting other weres. Alcide reluctantly relents and agrees to run with Debbie and the pack during that night's full moon.

Meanwhile Sookie's started searching the woods for Jason and ends up running into Debbie and Alcide (is it just me or is it weird that on the night of the full moon we don't see any weres or shifters in animal form? Why are they all running around looking like people?) Sookie asks them whether someone can become a were by being bitten and they assure her you can only be born a were. Relieved she takes off again to find Jason. Debbie is comfortable letting Sookie take care of herself but Alcide is clearly worried. Women just love it when their partners are preoccupied with someone else.

After what is probably a few hours Jason finally realizes he's not going to turn, which leaves him strangely disappointed. He asks Jessica about what being a vampire is like and she tells Jason how awesome he is. Just when it looks like the two of them are going to act on their growing attraction Jason brings up Hoyt and starts treating Jessica like a little sister (complete with arm punches). Before Jessica leaves him they both agree not to tell Hoyt about spending time together. He just wouldn't understand.

Back at Bill's, the King of Louisiana is getting ready to execute Eric. He has his guards bring Eric in restraints out to the lawn. Eric accepts his sentence and is fine with being put to death, which seems extreme even to me. Exactly how docile has Eric become? But anyway he does have a couple of final requests. He asks that Pam be released since she doesn't have much time left and she isn't much of a threat anymore. He also asks that Bill let Sookie know that he was born the night she found him and that he's going to his true death knowing what it was like to love. He also mentions that she deserves love with anyone who can give it to her. As Bill raises the stake above his head Eric looks up in a pose that's instantly recognizable to anyone familiar with Christian iconography, particularly with those icons depicting the crucifixion. Nice touch. A little much but nice.

Tara's girlfriend, Naomi, shows up unannounced and demands to know what's been going on. So Tara finally tells her everything. This leads to anger and sex, so pretty much the usual response in Bon Temps. But the more she gets to know the real Tara, the more Naomi likes her. As for Pam's supposed harmlessness? Just as Tara and Naomi are sharing a moment outside Merlotte's, Pam shows up. And she is pissed. Tara tries to reason with Pam but when that doesn't work she begs Naomi to go. Naomi, however, isn't about to leave her. Luckily Pam is an equal opportunity killer and lets them know there's enough of her to go around (especially since parts of her are still falling off). Then she attacks.

Off in Mexico, Jesus's granddad toys with him and Lafayette, not only to punish Jesus and to prove his point but also because he just seems to like it. First he demands that Jesus bring him a sacrifice. When Jesus returns with a rattlesnake Granddad points out that snakes are gateways to the spirit world. He informs Jesus and Lafayette that they need protection from spirits and witches--not vampires. Then he sics the snake on Jesus, tells Lafayette to protect him, and leaves the room. As Jesus is slowly dying Lafayette is totally confused and panicking when he sees a man's spirit in the corner. A moment later the spirit enters his body and takes possession of him. It turns out to be the spirit of Jesus's uncle Luka, a gifted healer. He saves Jesus and departs, leaving Lafayette with no idea what just happened.

At Bill's again (presumably while he's outside with Eric) Sheriff Luis is obsessively watching Marnie on the security monitors. He was an early proponent of killing the necromancer and it looks like he can't hold out any longer. He goes to her cell ready to kill the witch but when he finds out Antonia's taken up residence in there he's all-too-eager to get his vengeance on (he turns out to have been Antonia's rapist and the "child" of the priest she compelled to greet the sun). But before Luis gets very far Antonia stops him with a spell and brings him under her control. When will these vampires learn?

The episode ends with Sookie still out in the woods shouting for Jason (how big are these woods anyway?) Suddenly Eric is there. He tells her Bill set him free and she forgets about everything else. As they kiss and the, ahem, music swells we see Bill standing alone on his porch, looking melancholy. The camera returns to Sookie and Eric who have already settled into a convenient clearing where they're (finally!) having sex. See--the new Eric isn't all bad.

Okay, so Season 4 Eric might be a little too meek. It would be good to see more fight in him. But he's also warm and caring and sweet (and still damn hot). In any case we know it won't last so those of you not enjoying this season, just hang on. Eric will be back to his Viking vampire god self in no time.

Fang Files

Appearance: Pale humans with red-rimmed eyes and long, snakelike fangs that extend or retract at will (and also when the vampire is excited). Cry tears of blood.

Strengths: Super strength (the older the vampire, the stronger they are). Super speed. Heightened senses.

Weaknesses: Silver. Witchcraft. Sun. Stakes. Sookie.

Mythology: Vampire society is highly hierarchical with Kings and Queens ruling over Sheriffs and lesser vampires, and all ruled by the mysterious Authority. Vampire blood (V) is a highly addictive and illegal drug. Once a human has consumed vampire blood the vampire will always be able to sense and track them.

Sound Bites

Eric: You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
Sookie: Only because you can't remember anything else.

Sookie: If you ever loved me you won't hurt him.
Bill: This is strictly business. Vampire business. So for once in your life I strongly suggest you stay out of it.

Bill: Sookie is not mine.
Eric: But you love her.
Bill: Irrelevant.

True Blood, Season 4 Episode 6 "I Wish I Was the Moon." Written by Raelle Tucker. Directed by Jeremy Podeswa. From HBO.

True Blood S4 E5 "Me and the Devil."

Spoilers Ahead

Vampires can't get along with anyone, can they? Humans, fairies, shifters, weres, other vampires, witches, even spirits... you'd think people would learn to just leave them alone. Why did they want to come out to the world again? Maybe they just had the burning desire to pay taxes.

Whatever their reasons "Me and the Devil" begins not with vamps but with our not-so-favourite shifters: Tommy and Melinda (and Joe Lee, shifter by association). They're still where we left them last episode, with Joe Lee beating the hell out of Tommy while Melinda proves how completely useless she is. Once Tommy passes out, his parents move away to discuss the "big money" dog fight coming up the next day. That's when Tommy throws the chain around Joe Lee's neck and returns the favour. What's really annoying (to me anyway) is that Melinda, who stood by while her husband tortured her son, suddenly starts fighting Tommy to protect Joe Lee. Nice. But Tommy fights them both off until he finally kills Joe Lee. Melinda then attacks, saying she's going to kill Tommy. Ah, motherly love. Unfortunately in the heat of the moment Tommy hits her a little too hard and accidentally kills her. She was worthless but she was still his mom so his subsequent devastation is understandable.

Elsewhere, Marnie wakes up after her latest possession by dead necromancer Antonia. Marnie tells Jesus, Lafayette and Tara about Antonia taking her over and they're horrified. But she's convinced the spirit is their protector. The others realize it's time to get going. As far away from Marnie, Eric, and Bon Temps as possible. For the boys that means paying a visit to Jesus's brujo granddad in Mexico (even though the man scares the shit out of Jesus). For Tara it's back to New Orleans.

Eric and Sookie, meanwhile, get up to all kinds of interesting things this episode, starting with a visit Eric pays to Sookie's room as she lies sleeping (minds out of the gutter, please). As he looks in on her suddenly Godric is by his side. While Eric holds back, Godric has no problem getting close to Sookie. At that point Eric steps in and tells Godric not to touch her (he also asks who Godric is). Godric wants them both to drain her and walk in the sun. Eric refuses. So Godric grabs him by the throat and forces him to his knees. He then tells Eric that there's no redemption for him and he needs to stop fighting his nature (odd since Eric could never have been accused before of fighting his nature. If anything, Godric was disappointed that he didn't fight it when he was torturing Russell). A minute later Eric pops fang and attacks Sookie. As she starts screaming Eric wakes up in his own room. This time he enters Sookie's room for real (looking appropriately monstrous, I was happy to see). As he creeps up to her bed, fangs out, she wakes up. Like a little kid caught doing something bad he covers his tracks by telling her he had a bad dream. He really is upset, though, and Sookie comforts him.

As for Bill, it's one headache after another. First Portia shows why the South has a bad name when she shows up with a list of reasons why incest is no big deal. Um, ew. (And if it's true about the majority of states repealing incest laws then that is truly disturbing, especially in light of all the opposition to gay marriage. Maybe it would be considered okay if the gay people involved were siblings :P). Anyway, Bill has sense enough to most definitely not want to get groiny with his descendants. Unfortunately the only way he can get her to back off is by glamouring her into being terrified of him.

Bill then gets paid a visit by Pam who's covered under layers of black lace. He's lighthearted about her appearance until he sees her rotting face and realizes she defied his orders and went to see the witch. Pam wants permission to torture and kill Marnie but of course Bill can't allow that (the Authority would put Pam to the true death for harming a human). But as pieces of her face come off he assures her he won't ignore the situation.

When daytime comes around Sookie finally puts her telepathy to good use! I guess the writers remembered that this show was supposed to be about a telepathic waitress. Sookie listens in on Holly to find out about the spell cast on Eric and the witch that did it. She then pays a visit to the Moon Goddess shop where she meets Marnie and convinces her to do a psychic reading on her (apparently being completely insincere will convince someone to do whatever you want). Marnie ends up contacting Gran and Sookie is lucky enough to hear Gran directly via Marnie's thoughts. Gran warns Sookie not to give her heart to the new man in her life because the situation is only temporary. She also tells Sookie that Marnie poses great danger and to run. Sookie wisely listens to Gran and gets the hell out of there.

Afterward Marnie gets a visit from pseudo-witch "Kitty" (of Bill's security staff). Kitty pretends to be concerned about what's going on but she only does so long enough for Marnie to be grabbed by Bill's commandos. See ya, Marnie. Not that she disappears or anything. She ends up in a cell in Bill's mansion (and we know he's not going to hurt her). As she prays in her cell she has another vision where she's transported to another cell in which Antonia is locked along with a bunch of other witchy ladies. As they huddle in a corner, chanting, the Inquisition priests come in and forcibly select one of the women. Turns out vampires are big in the priesthood and the witch they chose is dinner. Back in the present, Bill questions Marnie over the intercom and then face to face (he glamours her). It's clear she really doesn't know anything about the spells she performed or how to reverse them. Pam and Eric are screwed.

When Sookie gets home again she also gets a visit. Tara decides to stop by and whine about how her girlfriend found out she was lying about her name (among other things) and about how much she hates Bon Temps and everything about it. Then she asks to spend the night, at which point the sun sets and Eric comes out. That leads to Tara completely freaking and storming out after declaring "Fuck the both of you." Really? Aren't these people too old for this kind of drama? She and Sookie are bffs, then they hate each other, then they're bffs, then they hate each other. Jesus. And you'd think knowing that Sookie hated Eric she might pause to think there's a good reason why Sookie is hiding him now. I'm really ready for Tara to just go. She was good for the first couple of episodes of the show and since then it's all been pointless melodrama.

Anyway, Sookie gets to comfort Eric yet again as now he's upset by the nasty things Tara revealed about him in her anger. He decides to leave rather than risk hurting Sookie. But Sookie runs after him and asks him not to go. He comes back and we finally get the big kiss we've been waiting for. Yet somehow it's... underwhelming. Maybe there was too much build-up, I don't know. But even though the kiss disappointed I am glad the inevitable finally happened.

Back to Tommy. Where do you run when you've killed both your parents? To big brother, of course. And despite their numerous differences it's nice to see that Sam is there for Tommy when he really needs it. They head out in Tommy's van with the bodies in the back. Unfortunately Tommy is already freaking out when Andy decides to pull them over. Sam makes him hide in the back while he deals with Andy. Sam is perfectly calm and reasonable but Andy, despite having no good reason, insists on seeing what's in the back of the van. Inside Tommy waits, clutching a shovel to add to the body count if it comes to that. At first Sam refuses to let Andy into the van but Andy isn't taking no for an answer. Grabbing the keys from Sam he throws open the door and finds... a rather pissed-off gator. Yes! Don't you love when supernatural characters use their powers in a smart way? It's a nice change (not that they haven't done so before but it's been pretty rare). Andy back off in a hurry while Sam explains that he found the gator by the Dumpster and is taking back to the swamp where it belongs. After Andy takes off they do head to the swamp, where they feed the bodies to some real gators. RIP Melinda and Joe Lee.

Jessica and Hoyt's troubles seem to be continuing. After healing Jason and getting him settled at his house, Hoyt moves in to kiss Jessica. She pulls away. It's obvious something is wrong but when Hoyt questions her she insists she's just tired. He ends up staying behind to watch over Jason while she goes home. I really wanted it to work for those crazy kids. Sigh. By the way, does Jessica work at Merlotte's anymore?

Hoyt later tries to talk to Jason about his problems with Jessica, but, as usual, Jason is too obsessed with his own problems (like the full moon the next night) to care. At least Jason is smart enough to realize that everything bad that ever happened to him was because of sex (or rather, his selfish need to get him some). Of course now that Jason has Jessica's blood in him and is already enjoying sexy dreams about Jess it's difficult to believe that he won't be getting into yet more trouble due to sex.

As for possessed baby, Terry and Arlene don't think it's the baby that's possessed so much as they believe Rene is haunting them. So they bring in the only "holy" people around who will cleanse the house for them: Reverend Daniels and his new wife, Lettie Mae. Between the chanting and the smudging the evil is sure to be chased away. Unfortunately as Terry and Arlene later enjoy some quiet snuggle time a pack of matches nearby spontaneously combusts. As if a little sage would really chase away evil.

And it seems Alcide is being set up for future trouble with the Shreveport pack master, Marcus Bozeman. Bozeman is pissed that Alcide's been living in Shreveport for a few months already but never registered with the pack. Sigh. More werewolf drama.

The episode ends with Bill meeting with the rest of the Louisiana Sheriffs, as well as Pam. We find out exactly what happened during the Spanish Inquisition (you won't expect it) and how dangerous necromancy can be. They then all get into an argument about how to deal with the situation. That's when Pam lets slip that she knows what happened to Eric. Bill is infuriated and demands to know where Eric is. She finally admits he's at Sookie's. I never expected to see Pam crumble under Bill's glare. Apparently neither did she. As Bill takes off for Sookie's (can't wait to see what he storms in on) Pam apologizes to Eric.

This wasn't the greatest episode ever but it was decent and had some fairly awesome moments. It was definitely nice to see paranormal characters acting paranormal (when was the last time Sookie used her telepathy for anything useful?) This episode also has the feeling of being the calm before the storm. Get ready for the show.

Fang Files

Appearance: Human with long, snakelike fangs that extend or retract at will (and also when the vampire is excited). Cry tears of blood.

Strengths: Ability to glamour humans. Super speed. Ability to heal wounded humans with their blood.

Weaknesses: Sunlight, blood lust, magic.

Mythology: Vampires have a strong bond with their makers, which apparently extends even beyond death. The Authority is a mysterious organization that all vampires must answer to. Historically many vampires became priests and nuns in order to blend in and have a hand in human power structures. When a human drinks vampire blood it creates a bond between the two that leads to, among other things, sexual dreams.

Sound Bites

Tommy: Remember what I once said? I'm going to be free the day you die?
Joe Lee: Worthless piece of shit.

Marnie: What...what happened?
Lafayette: Hooker, you pissed off another vampire and then you took a goddamned nap.

Godric: [to Eric] You are incapable of love. You are damned.

Bill: [seeing Pam in a big hat and veil] Oh good--the world needs more beekeepers.

Tommy: I fucked up, Sam.
Sam: I see that, Tommy.

Eric: [to Sookie] There's a light in you. It's beautiful. I couldn't bear it if I snuffed it out.

True Blood. Season 4 Episode 5 "Me and the Devil." Written by Mark Hudis. Directed by Daniel Minahan. From HBO.

Dead Reckoning by Charlaine Harris

Spoilers Ahead

I feel like my world revolves around Charlaine Harris these days. My last several posts have been related to her and her work. Season 4 of True Blood dominates my thoughts. Even the posts I write for Heroes and Heartbreakers seem to disproportionately feature her (for example, this one). I'm not sure how it's ended up this way. Other vampires and their creators beckon for my attention and yet still I return to the Sookieverse. I'm going to have to do something about that. In the meantime, though, you'll have to endure one more Harris review--but at least Dead Reckoning is worth it.

The book starts off well, bringing you smoothly back into Sookie's world. And, of course, it isn't long before trouble begins. A molotov cocktail through the window of Merlotte's leaves everyone wondering who the culprit could be--and who they were after.

I was happy that there was plenty of Eric action this time around, starting early in the book (a nice change!) Unfortunately something odd is going on with him. He's getting into major fights with Pam and is clearly keeping something from Sookie. He's also stressed because Victor is continuing to make life miserable for him and isn't above getting to Eric through those he cares about.

There's also lots of fae action for the fairy fans out there. Although most of it is more disturbing than fun. Incest among fairies was mentioned more than once (suddenly glad I have no fae relatives). And we discover that fae vengeance is not pretty. There are also a number of revelations involving Gran, a fairy artifact, and Mr. Cataliades. We even (finally) find out why Sookie has more fairy attributes than Jason.

Of course there were also the usual annoyances, which for me are mostly due to Sookie, as well as a certain Southern, small-town attitude I can't relate to. Other people may not have an issue with these things, though. But does it not bother anyone else that every non-human species is portrayed as barbaric, or backward, or otherwise less than humans? I've complained in past reviews that Harris writes about vampires but doesn't like them. I think the same can also be said about her other paranormal races. Her scorn might be subtle but it comes through and, for me anyway, it's a constant irritation. There's also the usual sloppy editing (e.g., "DEFCON 4" when the author clearly meant "DEFCON 2"--how hard would it have been to double-check this before letting it go to print?)

One major plot point that really bothered me was Sookie using magic to break her bond with Eric. It seems stupid given all the threats she constantly faces, as well as cruel (Eric thought she was dead). Even worse--she never fixes it. The book ends with the bond still broken. Maybe I'd like Sookie more if she did anything that seemed remotely logical to me.

Dead Reckoning finishes with quite a few loose ends, although it's done intentionally and makes for a decent cliffhanger. In particular Sookie's relationship with Eric is left on seriously shaky ground. Sookie has the means to fix things but between her burgeoning self-hatred and her uncertainty about Eric her only action so far is inaction (I sincerely hope that changes in the next book).

While it wasn't without its problems, Dead Reckoning was definitely one of the better Sookie Stackhouse books. It was interesting and well paced. It sets things up for the future without skimping on what's happening in the present. I lost myself in the story and kept wanting to find out what would happen next. Yet when it ended I was disappointed there wasn't more to read. All in all, I would actually read this one again.

Fang Files

Appearance: Very pale humans with long fangs that extend and retract at will (and also when the vampire feels strong emotions).

Strengths: Some vampires have special skills, such as the ability to fly. Super strength, speed. Fast healing (holding a vampire's severed limb in place while drinking real blood will heal the limb).

Weaknesses: Vampires are beholden to their makers. Stakes. Beheading. Sunlight.

Mythology: When a human drinks vampire blood the vampire can then sense the human and feel their emotions (the more blood is exchanged the stronger the bond). Vampire blood is a potent, illegal, and unpredictable drug for humans.

Text Bite

[Sookie] "In one of those awful moments you have at random, I realized that everyone I'd ever dated--though, granted, that was a short list--was a killer. And so was I."

"It wasn't often you ran into a bondage/Elvis/whorehouse-themed vampire club."

For those of you who can't wait to find out what (might) happen next, Ms Harris drops some hints on her blog for the next book ("Deadlocked"):

While I know where I want to be at the end of each book, I don't always know how I'm getting there. Sometimes I surprise myself. Last night, Sookie got kidnapped, and I'm going to see how that shakes out. A character I thought was dead is probably alive, and I'm real happy for him. Then again, if the work doesn't go so well today, he may be dead again. This is the fun (and the panic) of being a writer. Every day brings decisions, and I have the power of life and death and procreation over all these people I've invented.

I wonder who the possibly dead guy might be (or if we'll ever find out for sure).

Want to see what I had to say about the previous books?

Dead until Dark
Living Dead in Dallas
Club Dead
Dead to the World
Dead as a Doornail
Definitely Dead
All Together Dead
From Dead to Worse
Dead and Gone
Dead in the Family

Dead Reckoning by Charlaine Harris. From Penguin (Ace Books).

Thanks to Laura at Penguin for sending me my review copy.

True Blood S4 E4 "I'm Alive and on Fire"

Spoilers Ahead

Well, this episode was a strange one. Besides the usual (sex, blood, violence...) we're treated to rotting flesh, witch burning, frolicking vampires, incest, rape, and creepy messages from beyond. There's also some very fine eye candy courtesy of Alcide and Eric. Buckle up, kids--it's going to get bumpy.

"I'm Alive and on Fire" begins post fairy-draining (see last episode). That fairy blood must be good shit because Eric is acting all kinds of goofy. After briefly passing out he decides he wants more and goes for the nearest available source: Sookie. But when she tells him to stop or he'll kill her he immediately backs away and claims he'd never harm her. Then he smacks her butt and starts playing silly games, finally running off despite the coming dawn. You can't leave a bewitched, drunk vampire alone for a second.

While Sookie's off trying to find Eric in the woods, Bill is trying to find him everywhere else--starting with Fangtasia. He gives Pam a dressing down for not following procedure, snapping that it's not her job to think, but she doesn't give anything away regarding Eric's whereabouts. If Bill was a condescending jerk with Pam, it's nothing compared with how Nan Flanagan later treats him when he tells her about Eric's disappearance. Dismissive of the idea of necromancers (they haven't been an issue since the Spanish Inquisition) she's more concerned about getting vampires good PR after Russell's public rampage. She tells Bill to take care of the situation but not to spill a single drop of mortal blood. Yes, that'll go well.

Nan perhaps should have taken the witches more seriously. Marnie (incidentally played by Fiona Shaw, better known as Aunt Petunia in the Harry Potter movies) has a vision of the Spanish Inquisition. She watches as her spirit guide, still alive and a necromancer, is burned at the stake. As she burns she chants a spell, which Marnie manages to pick up. Well that's going to be trouble.

Meanwhile, even though the sun has since risen, Sookie is still searching for Eric and she's enlisted the help of Alcide. He shifts and manages to track Eric to a pond where our favourite Viking is still acting goofy. He's high on fairy blood and sunshine and is grinning like a loon. But when Alcide shift back to naked human form Eric suddenly gets jealous and possessive of Sookie. There was one hell of an interesting fight in the making before Sookie stepped in and calmed the were and the vampire down. Alas. But it's probably for the best since a moment later Eric starts burning in the sun. Sookie covers him in a blanket and leads him away, but all traces of his previous joyousness are gone and he says he doesn't want to go back to the dark.

After refusing to let himself rest Eric asks Sookie to stay with him in his underground room. I don't know how she can say no to him--he's so sad (maybe I'm way too softhearted) but she tells him she has "human stuff" to do. The human stuff consists of having an argument with Alcide about the situation (which Eric can hear) and then making up with a flirty hug and promises that they're on each other's sides no matter what. Later, when Alcide returns home, he tells Debbie what happened. She claims to be fine with it but this is True Blood, so we know this is leading somewhere unpleasant.

Lafayette, Jesus and Tara go to see Marnie and try to convince her to undo the spell. At first she's less than interested but eventually they manage to impress upon her the severity of the situation (that is, Pam and/or Eric will fuck them all up for what Marnie's done). She finally tries to contact the spirit and goddesses to get the spell so she can undo it. Unfortunately they're not in a helping mood. Just when the witches are about to give up, defeated, a book falls off the shelf and happens to open to the counter-spell. Spirit witch has come through!

Once night has fallen again, Portia takes Bill to meet her grandmother. Is it just me or does it seem a bit much to make a person meet your family when the relationship consists entirely of work and sex? It seems like a very clumsy ploy on the writer's part to have Bill discover he and Portia are related (it turns out he's her great-great-great-great grandfather). I never liked this storyline in the book, either (come on--you're a vampire going back to your tiny hometown--wouldn't you make an effort to ensure you don't end up dating one of your descendants?) But the book did a better job with it than the show by far. I also like how when Bill tries to walk away Portia threatens to use her lawyerly skills to make his life hell. Wow--talk about not taking a breakup well. Honestly, who does that? The one part of this whole scene that I did enjoy was that Katherine Helmond is playing Caroline Bellefleur. Every so often I wonder what she's up to and now I know.

Anyway, after Bill leaves the Bellefleurs he goes to see Sookie. He seems to be happy to see her but the conversation turns immediately to Eric and his whereabouts. Sookie lies but Bill insists on searching her house. She's also just as insistent that he doesn't. She blocks his way and snaps that she's never lied to him and after a moment's hesitation he backs off. So what's going to happen when he finds out she did lie to him?

I missed something in the last episode. I thought a bunch of the Hotshot kids were watching as Crystal had her way with Jason. I somehow didn't notice they were all female and some of them not so young. I realized my error this episode when the women took turns trying to get impregnated by Jason (apparently they're really desperate for fresh DNA in their gene pool). It gets beyond creepy when Becky--who looks to be about 12--steps up to take her turn (Felton, aka "Uncle-daddy," told her she was old enough and that it was her duty to produce a cub). Jason convinces her that she deserves something better for her first time and since neither of them want Jason to die (he's still pretty sick) she cuts him loose and he makes his escape. When Felton realizes that Jason is gone he's furious, shifting into panther mode and beginning the chase (with intent to rip Jason apart).

As Jason runs from the pursuing panthers, he's struggling. His breathing is ragged and he looks like he's about to pass out at any moment. He tries to put them off his scent but that doesn't slow them down for long. He finally shakily climbs a tree and carves a branch into a spear. When Felton shows up Jason drops on him and shoves the spear into his neck. Jason gets clawed in the process but at least Felton is dead. A second later Crystal shows up and is thrilled that Felton is dead (she's the alpha now). Crystal is completely delusional and insists that Jason will come back to Hotshot when he realizes no one else will want him. Right. Eventually Jason ends up collapsing on the road. Fortunately Jessica and Hoyt are driving by and see him. Jessica gives Jason blood and there's a strange moment there where he's gazing up at her. Looks like he might end up with a little blood-induced crush on Jess. Interesting.

In happier news Sam is becoming his sweet self again, even in the face of a belligerent Maxine who blames him because Tommy didn't come home the night before. Sam assures her that Tommy can take care of himself. I guess we can thank Luna for Sam's return to the character we know and love. He seems pretty smitten with her and when he accidentally discovers she has a young daughter, the rapport between him and little Emma is the stuff of any single mom's dreams. Of course there's always a hitch and in this case Luna admits to Sam that her ex (Emma's dad) is a werewolf and something of a stalker.

As for Tommy, he's gone to see his mom. Belinda claims she's left Joe Lee but is vague enough about the circumstances that you wonder how oblivious Tommy has to be not to notice that something is off. Instead they have a nice visit until Belinda starts defending Joe Lee. As Tommy gets agitated, guess who shows up behind him and throws a chain around his neck? Of course Belinda couldn't leave Joe Lee. She stands by uselessly as Joe Lee chokes Tommy, promising to teach him obedience and loyalty and claiming that Tommy's enjoyed his last free breath. Maybe Tommy won't be such a brat the next time (if) Sam saves him from those two.

And last (as well as least), Terry holds the demon baby as the rest of the family sleeps on the sofa. He tells the baby who everyone is, ending with himself (saying he's daddy). Terry leaves the room for a second and someone picks up a red marker and scrawls "baby not yours" on the wall. Terry comes back and freaks, which wakes everyone else up so they can freak too. The baby just smiles and plays with the marker. If it actually turns out that the baby is possessed/inherently evil I will not be impressed. At all. This is such a lame storyline.

The episode finishes off with Marnie, Tara, Lafayette, Jesus and Pam gathered together to perform the counter-spell. Pam is impatient and angry; really, she should know better. In the middle of the spell Pam snaps and aggressively approaches the circle. Suddenly the spirit takes over Marnie and she begins chanting a spell as Pam stands frozen and horrified. I expected a repeat of the memory-erasing spell, but I think this one is much worse. The spell is for a vampire to see their true self, that is, as an animated corpse. Pam's flesh starts rotting off her face as she screams. Then she runs. Can't blame her.

This was another relatively solid episode with several future storylines being set in motion. The creep factor was also high, if you're into that sort of thing. I love that in season 4 each episode leaves me excited to see the next one. And I can't wait until the vampires once again have the upper hand.

Fang Files

Appearance: Pale humans with red-rimmed eyes and fangs that descend or retract at will (and also involuntarily when the vampire is excited or aggressive).

Strengths: Super speed. Enhanced senses. Vampire blood heals humans.

Weaknesses: Fairy blood. Sunlight. Staying awake during the day (results in "the bleeds"). Magic. Shortsightedness and arrogance.

Mythology: Vampire society is strictly hierarchical with regular vampires at the lowest levels, followed by Sheriffs, Kings and Queens, the AVL (and Nan Flanagan), and the mysterious Authority running the show. Vampire blood (V) is a potent and illegal drug for humans.

Sound Bites

Pam: You like the feel of it, don't you, Bill? That crown.

Nan Flanagan: [to Bill] Don't fuck this up. How many retired Kings do you know?

Sookie: [to Eric] There's big gators in there, you crazy Viking, so get on out and let's go home before one of them chomps off your you-know-what!"

Eric: [to Sookie] I'll never swim in the sun again. Never feel the heat on my skin. Never see the daylight in your hair.

Marnie: How am I expected to repair the vampire if he isn't here?
Pam: That's your problem. Reverse the spell or I'll bite your fucking head off.

True Blood, Season 4 Episode 4 "I'm Alive and on Fire." Written by Nancy Oliver. Directed by Michael Lehmann. From HBO.