Johnny Depp (as usual) looks great in this. The rest of it, not so much. Fish out of water vampire? Sigh. I know I'll get flak for criticizing Saint Burton but his movies are increasingly becoming more about style than substance (that's not really new but it's getting excessive now). And can he make any movies anymore that aren't remakes (and mostly mediocre ones, at that)? In addition I have to mention how tired I am of seeing Helena Bonham Carter in every single movie he makes. Yeah, you're in a relationship with her--we get it. Honestly, I miss Lisa Marie. I think Dark Shadows would have been better off in someone else's hands.
I think most people would agree that it's not uncommon in genre fiction to find more than a few books that would pair well with a variety of wines (i.e., they're cheesy). So when I got my review copy of Blood Oath and saw it was about a secret service agent who also happened to be a vampire (the "president's vampire" no less) I was prepared to roll my eyes through all 190 pages. But that never happened. This book is good. As in 'I didn't want to put it down' good. Just when you think that nothing more can be done with vampires, along comes a book like Blood Oath that changes the entire paradigm.
Before I tell you what Blood Oath is about I think I should spare a few words about what it isn't. It is not about a vampire hero. Cade might save the day but only because he's forced to; if he had his way he'd be spending his nights preying on humans instead of helping them. It is not a romance. Cade will not be falling in love with a vulnerable yet strong human heroine; not only does Cade not feel human emotions but he's repulsed at the thought of sex with his prey. (And as for Cade and fellow vampire Tania, they might hook up but a loving relationship doesn't seem to be in the cards.) The book is also not about the troubled protagonist's redemption. There is no redemption for Cade (at least not in his own mind). Lastly, Blood Oath is nothing like what I was expecting.
It's about Nathaniel Cade, a young man turned vampire, discovered on a Civil War ship and bound by magic to forever follow the president's orders and protect the USA from attack, particularly from the various dark forces that would love nothing more than to bring the country down (as one president puts it, they're fighting a War on Horror). It's also about Zach Barrows, human White House staffer unwillingly thrust into the role of Cade's latest liaison to the president. Throw in a group of extremists working with an ex-Nazi sociopath (Cade's nemesis, Dr. Johann Konrad) to turn corpses into uber soldiers and a shadowy agency with its own agenda and you've got a hell of a compelling story.
After having been immersed in the Buffyverse, Forever Knight, Being Human, Moonlight, True Blood, The Vampire Diaries, and a metric tonne of paranormal romance-type books, Farnsworth's vampire is a refreshing change. Cade is intense, he's scary, he is not interested in anything human beyond what he's forced to get involved in. He doesn't want a relationship with a teenage girl (or an adult woman who could still be his great-great granddaughter). I particularly like that he believes in god just as strongly as he believes that god doesn't want him, and that he refuses to drink human blood even though he knows it makes him weaker and will ultimately destroy him. He's an interesting, complex character (and it suddenly occurs to me that he reminds me of Kai from Lexx, which as far as I'm concerned is a good thing).
I also really enjoyed the writing, other than the overly obvious wolf references at the beginning (it was already clear the writer was talking about werewolves--he didn't need to keep hitting us over the head with language like "alpha," "pawed it open," and "practically howling." Yeah, we get it). What I found especially interesting was the way the author made reference to past events in Cade's life as though this weren't the first book in the series. As long as Farnsworth doesn't get sick of the character, there's potential for an endless series of prequels and sequels. I'd better clear some shelf space. In addition the writing is clear, evocative, and not weighed down by sappiness or exposition (Farnsworth successfully utilizes a clever plot device to get around the latter issue). Occasionally the author's style verges a little too close to Maxim territory, as for example, when he describes sex between characters as "writhing like the sacrifice on an altar from some long-dead religion." Uh, yeah. But given some of the sexual descriptions you find in the average example of "women's fiction" I guess we really can't fault him.
With all the politics, espionage, testosterone-fuelled behaviour, and occasional stomach-churning violence it's pretty clear the book's intended audience is men (specifically the kind who read John le Carré and Tom Clancy). I have no patience for politics or testosterone overload and I don't read spy novels (oh yeah, and I'm female) but I still loved this book, which goes to show that target audiences are, at best, rough guidelines. I say if you're into vampires, like good writing, and aren't too sensitive about gore or violence you need to read Blood Oath. Like me, you'll wonder why you waited so long.
Fang Files
Appearance: Very pale human with long, needlelike fangs that are visible when mouth is open or smiling. Vampires don't breathe or sweat.
Strengths: Super speed, strength. Ability to climb walls and jump great heights. Enhanced sense of smell, hearing, and sight. Perfect memory. Quick healing as long as the vampire has fresh blood. Some vampires can change physical form.
Weaknesses: Direct sunlight. Fire. Not consuming human blood. Decapitation. Massive damage to the heart. Not getting a 12-hour coma-like period of rest every 7 days.
Mythology: For unknown reasons vampires have an aversion to Christian religious objects and feel pain when touching items such as crosses. Cade must follow all lawful orders of the president or his or her representatives and cannot hurt them. Animal blood is not as effective as human blood, leaving the vampire weaker and over time rendering them a decrepit living husk. There are a few hundred vampires worldwide with only two or three qualifying as "Vampire Kings"--the strongest of the strong. Vampire blood dripping into an open wound will turn a human into a vampire but the process doesn't always work--humans end up dead as often as they're turned.
Text Bites
Zach tried not to laugh. "A presidential vampire, huh? Is he a Democrat or a Republican?"
There is a reason humans are genetically programmed to fear the dark. Zach was looking at it.
Need more? Watch the trailer:
Blood Oath by Christopher Farnsworth. From Putnam.
Stake Land looks awesome. Set in a post-apocalyptic world where a vampire plague is running rampant, what few uninfected humans remain struggle to survive, including orphaned Martin (Connor Paolo, Gossip Girl), who finds a dubious ally in a hunter known as "Mister" (Nick Damici, The Black Donnellys).
I'm definitely a fan of the VILF genre of vampires but I have to say it's nice to see a movie where the only contact you'd want with the monsters is when your stake contacts their undead hearts.Giving the zombie treatment to vamps is also a step in the right direction of reminding us why vampires are still scary.
Stake Land won the Midnight Madness Audience Award at TIFF 2010 and will be released in theatres 22 April. Can't wait.
Oh, Michael Madsen--what have you lowered yourself to? Playing second fiddle to DMX and (gag) Kat Von D. Even I can't use the vampires as an excuse to watch this movie, which seems to aspire to being a hybrid of Buffy, From Dusk 'til Dawn, and John Carpenter's Vampires (and from what little I've seen of it, utterly fails). But judge for yourself (and don't say you weren't warned).
Courtesy of Sundance (where it was screened), a short clip of Iwai Shunji's Vampire, a movie about a "new" kind of vampire, as well as an interview with Shunji about his movie. I've read some negative comments about Vampire, but I think it's probably still worth checking out. It can't be worse than some of the other movies I've seen (I hope).
The teaser is well done, if minimalistic. But I've got to say it's really easy to go wrong with witches (even the great Whedon didn't get it right). I've got a bad feeling about this...
Literally... I'm not generally one for these kinds of collectibles (the exception being my Kill BillGo-Go, which is just too awesome not to have) but this Damon doll looks pretty good. Not quite as smouldering as the real thing but it does come with a sun-protection ring and an intense stare. Tempting...
To find out more and pre-order your very own, click here.
I've got to say, of all the trailers I've seen and posted lately, Midnight Son stands out the most. From what I can tell the story looks well developed, the acting is decent, and the production values are high. And the "Midnight Son" of the movie's title is easy on the eyes, which is not always a given when it comes to vampires (although always much appreciated). Even less common in most vamp flicks are interesting human characters, which (again from what I can tell) seem to be in abundance in this movie. Definitely high on the must-see list.
Want to find out more (like how to get this film into your local theatre)? Click here.
So many vampires, so little time. But I think it'll be worth fitting in The Death of Alice Blue. It's indie, it's Canadian, it's got a great tagline ("And you thought you had a dead-end job"), and it co-stars one of my favourite actors Kris Holden-Ried (currently playing Dyson on Lost Girl, but I've been a fan since I first saw him on Riverdale...) What more could you ask for?
I'm not entirely enthused about this one--the production values are looking a little low rent. Also, hello creepy leading man (and I don't mean in a good way). But I'm still intrigued by the concept so it gets a place on the to-see list...eventually.
Another movie for the must-see list (although preferably with subtitles). It's about a bullied Korean student who becomes a vampire and embraces his newfound powers. He's hailed as a hero after saving a blind person from being hit by a train, only to have his friends start questioning the source of his abilities and the true nature of what he's become. Deep, only, you know, with blood and violence.
Speaking of anti-glitter vampires, prepare yourselves for Renfield the Undead, the latest take on the Dracula mythology, this time centred on Dracula's servant (and now successor) Renfield. Personally, my vote for the best version of a Dracula "sequel" goes to Buffy, both the show (Season 5 premiere episode "Buffy vs. Dracula") and the Season 8 comics (various issues). But that's not to say I'm not happy to check out all the latest additions to the Dracula mythos. Bring them on!
Vampires that are...scary? The devil you say! I'm a fan of 30 Days of Night, although the jury's still out on this upcoming (5 October) direct to dvd release. Still, it's a nice contrast to glitter, pop culture witticisms, and vampires you can bring home to mom.
When I first tried sushi I didn't like it; I couldn't figure out what the big fuss was about. But then out of nowhere I started craving it and the more I had, the more I liked it. The Vampire Diaries is like sushi to me. I didn't particularly like it at first, then I started getting interested in it, and now--despite numerous other vampire shows keeping me occupied--I'm actually excited to see it again. I blame it on Damon, who, as far as I'm concerned, is the best (and yeah, hottest) vampire since Spike (sorry, Bill).
To get us in the mood, the CW has released trailers for the upcoming season of TVD. Watch the extended version here.
While you're at it, watch a short video update of Damon here.
The Vampire Diaries returns Thursday, 9 September. I know I'm marking my calendar.
Okay, so I'm not generally a fan of parody movies but watching the trailer for Vampires Suck had me giggling maniacally. This one looks like it could be a lot of fun, and if there's anything the vampire universe could use, it's more fun. Enjoy!
Looks like there's no end in sight to this vampire "craze." Good thing too, even if I am slightly overwhelmed by everything out there, old and new. Speaking of new, ABC's decided to jump on the bandwagon with their upcoming show: The Gates, premiering 20 June (at 10 pm/9 central). Described as part Buffy (good) and part Desperate Housewives (dear gods, no) I'm sort of looking forward to it and sort of dreading it. Reviews may have to wait, though (did I mention I'm slightly overwhelmed). In the meantime, you can get a taste with this brief trailer:
There's also a series of short videos (press tours, sneak peeks) on the ABC site. Or you can save yourself the trauma of having to go to another page and just watch them here:
If Sunday nights don't work for you, you can always watch the full episodes on ABC's site, so really, there's no excuse for not watching. Unless it sucks (or maybe especially if it does).
